Anna von Beaverplatz's Lunatic Ramblings

Strictly Ballroom

So. As many of you may know, I have a single tattoo. Some of you may even have seen it. Well, I'm in the market for .... well, frankly, at least 7 more. I have a number of ideas, though no clear ones. Except for this one: I watched Strictly Ballroom again today, and remembered how much I'd like a tattoo of the phrase, "A life lived in fear is a life half-lived". My problems are these: I need to figure out where to put it, and if necessary, how to split the line; I need to figure out if I want it in English or as in the film ("Vivir con miedo es como vivir a medias", although I'm pretty sure I'll go with English); and I need a font.

I spent several hours online today searching fonts, and I found a few that could work. I think my favorite thus far is this one. It's not too fancy but not too plain, it's legible, and it's light. It looks pretty in English and in Spanish. It's very much akin to handwriting, which I like; I have considered an Edwardian script or something like it, but I'm not sure I want something that ... neat. I think I'd prefer it a little messy, a little imperfect, kind of like life. I also liked this one, which is a bit cleaner (though still a little pitted), yet kind of old-fashioned, like something you'd find in a sailor's diary from the mid-18th century. I sort of liked this one, but the more I look at it, the more it reminds me too much, I think, of those greeting cards that are supposed to be real emotions, or something. I don't know. Too Hallmark-esque, I think. I looked at a bunch of the "Gothic" styles, but they're very heavy, and I don't think they work with the sentiment. Naturally, I've thought about using my own handwriting, but I don't know that I like it well enough to wear it forever on my body, or if it's the style that I want. I'm not particularly artistic like that. I also need to decide if I actually want to capitalize all the words (i.e. A Life Lived in Fear is a Life Half Lived), or stick with lowercase; I like the idea of capitalizing for fancier-ness, but it's not terribly realistic. On the other hand, who the hell needs "realistic" in a tattoo? And what does that even mean?

As for location, oh dear. That's why it took me until I was 35 to get my first one: deciding where to put it. I wound up deciding on lower back (yeah, I know, shut up) because it's easily covered up (no, it really is; only girls that wear hooker clothes can't keep it covered, and I don't wear hooker clothes. Often). I am thinking of down my side, but closer to my armpit or closer to my hip? I am also considering my upper back, right below my neck, which would then necessitate a split. How would I split the line then? A life lived in fear/is a life half lived, or A life lived in fear is a/life half lived? I feel like it would be too ...even the first way. Unless I have the top line start a bit to the left of center and the bottom line a bit to the right. I'm not completely against the even way, I'm just not sure. Another option, and one I love, is the inside of my forearm, though I wear a lot of short sleeved/sleeveless items in the summer. Do I care that much? I'm not sure. If I did this, it would go from elbow to wrist, I do know that much. I could also do it on the top of my foot, somehow, though I don't know how I would work that. I could also do it in a spiral, but I think I like that idea less. I thought of doing it around my ankle, like an anklet, but I think I'm pretty "feh" on that one. Also, I don't think the handwriting-y font would work that way. It'd have to be something neater and more even. I think the font depends in part on the location, generally; like if I were to put it down my side, I'd go with the first one I linked above, while on my forearm, I think I'd be more likely to choose the second. I'd also more likely choose lowercase lettering on my forearm, but capitalization down my side.

So, as you can see, I probably won't be getting this for a while. Clearly I'm not ready yet. I'd kind of like to make these decisions, though, so that I'm prepared should the opportunity arise for me to get it. And I'd like the opportunity to arise soon. Meanwhile, help a girl out! Thoughts? Suggestions? Ideas? Despise one, or all, of the ones I've come up with? By all means, weigh in! There are sure to be pictures once I finally do it. If that's, y'know, an incentive for ya.

Here's a paraphrase of a comment I posted on Pajiba this morning:

150 people dead in Mexico .... out of, what, 108 million? I mean, it's sad for their families and everything, but.. pandemic? Really? I don't think this counts as a pandemic. I don't even think it qualifies as an epidemic. Let's consult Merriam Webster:

ep·i·dem·ic : affecting or tending to affect a disproportionately large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time

Nope.

pan·dem·ic : occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population

Nope.

It's less than 1% of the population. Just of Mexico. Actually, it's like one/1,000,000th of the population. Previous pandemics have killed up to 1/2 the population of a given continent (or the human population... let's see, divided by... carry the one... 2/100,000,000th of the world pop).

So, nope.

Then I went to the BBC news website. Here's what it had to say regarding numbers in this "pandemic":

• Out of 168 deaths in Mexico, only 8 are confirmed to be swine flu.
• There is 1 confirmed death in the U.S.
• In the rest of the world, there are a total of 157 confirmed and 13 suspected cases.

So that's a total, then, of 9 confirmed deaths from swine flu, and 160 more possible deaths. Since all 170 of the instances where people have the virus have evidently been reported, one presumes that those people are seeking medical attention and are going to recover, since it's easily treatable. An international panic is happening over 9 deaths.

9.

Let's assume pessimistically for a moment that all 160 unconfirmed deaths in Mexico turn out to be definitely swine flu. And let's also suppose that those 170 other reported cases die as well. That's a total of 339 deaths. Now let's suppose those people have all infected 3 other people each, and those people all die. That's a total of 1,356 deaths from swine flu. Now let's look at the world population: and we'll round down to 6.7 million. Even assuming this, it's still only 2/100,000ths of the population of the world.

Again, look at the definitions of epidemic and pandemic above. To me, an "exceptionally high proportion of the population" is just that... exceptionally high. Like, 25% high. But let's say, for the sake of argument, that 10% can be considered exceptionally high. That means a minimum of 670,000 people need to be infected. We've got 669,661 cases to go before we reach epidemic proportions. Can we please stop panicking about every little thing? Please?

It's no Black Death, people (cripes, it's not even the Hong Kong flu epidemic of '68). Now there's a pandemic for you.

Here's something to make you feel better though:

Aww! Now there's something you could die from... perhaps it should be called the Adorable Death.

(Cross-posted on Blogger)

Here's a fun thing I did last night: My dear friend whom I've never met Jeremy Feist and I did a roundtable review of the movie Ghost World. I was nervous, especially following the hilarious Sarah Larson, whose review with Jeremy of Race to Witch Mountain nearly made me pee myself, but I think we did good! Check it out. And read his blog, he's a funny young man!

So here's the downside of going to college later in life (well, I guess it's a downside no matter when you go): Kids.

I have this class on Thursdays, Media Writing. I missed it 2 weeks ago because I had a killer bellyache. I left work early and everything. Well, apparently I missed an in-class assignment: everyone paired off and interviewed each other, with a written piece due the following week. There were two other people who were out besides me; we were given the interview assignment as a triangular thing and exchanged emails so we could do the work.

Well, Sunday afternoon rolled around and I haven't heard from either of them. So, I email them both and say, "Hey, so here's my idea for the interview thing, what do you think?" I hear back from both of them, yeah, that's a great idea, not too difficult, blah blah biddy blah. Well, the girl who's interviewing me emails me last night with a bunch of questions. I reply, give pretty good full answers, some of which she can use as direct quotes and some she'll be able to paraphrase. I also email the guy I'm interviewing with a list of basic questions, with the caveat that if I need more detailed info I'll email him again.

Well, here it is, Wednesday night at almost 9 pm. I have still not heard back from him, and so I have nothing to write. I emailed him again this afternoon around 3:30, trying to be polite yet urgent, that I needed to get the writing done tonight. Still nothing. I have now emailed the professor because I am going to have nothing to turn in tomorrow, and I don't want to wreck my GPA because this kid can't get back to me. Ugh. I mean, maybe he's very busy too, you know, I realize this. I'm just super frustrated.  

Well, I guess that's what a blog is for, huh. *sigh* I guess I'll just go watch American Idol and hope I hear from him before 10. Then I at least have a shot at doing something...

I had such an odd week this week, emotionally. I was feeling bad all week, thinking thoughts about how I'm just terrible at my job, and I don't get enough work done, things like that. I know, logically, that I'm actually very good at what I do, but my last job... god, those people were terrible. They just drilled it into my head over and over again that I wasn't doing enough; they questioned everything I did as to its veracity; they just made me feel, for 9 years, like I couldn't do anything right, that everything I did was not only wrong but not good enough. I busted my ass for that company, worked my way up through the ranks until I finally took over the accounting department when my boss left, and then busted my ass even more teaching myself a job that I should have been able to turn to someone for help with but couldn't, and I did do a good job. A damn good job. My last two years there aged me 10.

And finally, I had enough. I couldn't take it any more. I found this new job, thanks (and I will be forever grateful to her) to my old boss from that very same company that wore us both down. Initially, the job was bookkeeping for the fund raising arm of the company (as I've mentioned in various places, it's a non-profit that runs group homes and programs for the developmentally disabled). I knew, however, that they wanted to get rid of the accounts payable person, who did not do a very good job. She was a very nice person, a lovely woman, and I felt utterly terrible knowing the whole time I shared an office with her that at some point, she was likely going to be fired. She was, six months after I started, and I was promoted to her position. A new girl was hired part-time to take over the fund-raising bookkeeping. She is great at it, and very nice; a perfect office mate, which is important when you have to spend all day in the same smallish room with a second person.

Well, my perfect office mate gave her notice last week. Her husband lost his job a while ago, and she needs to go back to working full time in order to pay the bills and have medical insurance for their family. So I'm busy thinking to myself, "Oh great. Now we have to get somebody else in here, and train them again, and who knows what' they'll be like" &c., and still feeling bad about my work, mind you, when the CFO and the assistant (my former boss) come in to talk to me. They want to restructure a little bit, they say; they'd like me to keep my A/P responsibilities and take the foundation bookkeeping responsibilities back, and hire me an assistant to do the clerical work that's time consuming and keeps me from being able to devote my full attention to the important stuff.  In other words, it's kind of a promotion-ish, and they like me, they really like me. I am doing a good job, and it's noticed, and appreciated. It's such a huge change from that previous existence, and oh god is it good. I'm beginning to feel like a human being again, after such a long period of feeling like a horrible troll or something. Everyone should have this. I am a lucky sonofabitch.

I began a project today. The project is to photograph some of the jewely I've made and put the pics in a Facebook album. However, since Facebook is a little bitch, my "account is unavailable for a few hours for maintenance". In the middle of a Sunday afternoon. (See? Little bitch.) So, I shall meanwhile put a few of these photos here.

This is the first big project I ever did, and remains probably the most ambitious single piece I have made to date. It is a tiny purse necklace. The pattern was someone else's, which I modified a bit. I forget whose; probably it was either in one of the books I purchased or Bead and Button magazine. The fringe is just completely awesome. It's three rows of varying lengths and has a bunch of fun little fetish-type beads on it, including a Capricorn goat (that's me) and a Cancer crab (the pseudo-Mr.) I made it many years ago, and when I pulled it out today to photograph it, I discovered that it still brings me great joy. Probably in part due to all the jingly little hippie bells in the fringe.

This next one is made with thoroughly modern Swarovski cube beads, and dangles of vintage Swarovski bicones. They are technically the same color, though the older ones have faded a bit and are a bit lighter in color now.

I love how they look almost orange-y in the first picture. This one was made with simple eyepin-and-jumpring technique (each bead goes on an eyepin; the eyepins are linked with jumprings.) It has a basic spring ring clasp. Very simple, but the color is strinking, especially on my pasty pale skin. I love it, and wear it often to work.

Next is a more casual one I wear on an almost-daily basis. I love the pendant, and I found the larger beads at a local bead store, which match the moon in the pendant almost exactly. I had been looking for something to do with the yellow Swarovski 4mm bicones, and they coordinated beautifully, along with the same in clear crystal and 4mm glass pearls.

This one is another more casual, everyday-type necklace. I found the pendant and the large mujlti-shape beads in Treasure Island (back before they went under), and the rest are Swarovski crystals I had lying around. I tend to keep a lot of them on hand, because I love them so; they're beatiful and sparkly and work well as accents or as a main design element.

These next two both took a lot of time, because I wire wrapped each crystal dangle. What that means is, insted of putting each crystal on a head-or eyepin, then attaching them all to the chain later, each bead was put on the pin, then attached to the chain; the end of the pin is then wrapped around the part of the pin that comes out of the bead. This means a more secure attachment, but also a lot more work. Once you get the hang of it, it goes very quickly, but because of the sheer quantity of beads on each piece, they still took quite a long time. I managed to get earrings done for the green one, but have not yet finished the ones to go with the clear necklace.

This next (and last for today; I'm tired!) is another older piece I made, again with eyepins and jumprings. All the beads (excepting the single Swarovski accent bead-see what I mean about the versatility?) are sterling silver, which means it's pretty, but it tarnishes ridiculously easily. It stays in its box most of the time, which helps, though the earring hooks and many of the jumprings need to be replaced at this point. It also has a broken clasp that needs replacing, which I haven't gotten around to yet because I don't wear it often. Maybe tomorrow, now that I've pulled it out and I remember...

I tried to include "action shots" of most of these, and just realized I didn't get one of that last item. Well, maybe if I replace the clasp tomorrow I can get one. I also will try to get some of the bridesmaid's jewelry I maid for my sister's wedding tomorrow.

OK, here's a few more of random items:

Oh! I almost forgot my other pride and joy, a present to myelf for completing an Associate's degree with a 4.0 GPA while working full time at the age of 37. I felt I deserved a present for that.

Alright, seriously. I have things to do! Plus, this is like, the longest post or blog entry or whatever of my life. I hope whoever looks at this enjoys it.

Here's a completely random thought that just popped into my head: In season 2 of Buffy, Joyce's boyfriend Ted takes everybody out to miniature golf. In the season 3 episode Enemies, the Mayor tells Faith, "I have two words that are going to make all the pain go away: Miniature. Golf."

So why are only evil characters interested in mini golf?

So I recently finished my 3rd or 4th viewing of season 5 of Angel on DVD. I am having some thoughts that need further exploration and I need to get them down. WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE. If you haven't seen the season and you plan to, I wouldn't read any further if you don't want to read about major plot points. 

First thought: Both major female characters are killed in this season. I mean, Cordy starts the season out in a coma from the previous season, after the Jasmine incident, but there is at least a chance of her appearing again. She does, but only to help out one last time before she dies (which scene, by the way, leaves me in tears every time). And Fred winds up being the vessel for Illyria, which kills Fred. (And now I can't remember whether Harmony winds up getting dusted in the last episode, and I'll have to watch it again and check. But she was a pretty peripheral character anyway, except for a few episodes.) It leaves Angel, Wes, Gunn, and Spike (and Lorne of course, but he leaves in the end anyway) to fight to the end of the world. Why does that happen? Why would a man who relies on strong female characters in his stories suddenly feel a need to kill off two of those characters? To be fair, Illyria is physically far stronger than Fred, which is useful for the fighting of masses of demons at series end; but still, the question is begged: why ditch out on strong, willful Cordy and the super-intelligent Fred? I think I will definitely need to view the series again and watch the evolution of both characters very carefully, and their places in the larger arc of the story.

Next thought: Illyria. This is fairly related to my first thought, but why kill off Fred to replace her with Illyria? Was Fred's lack of physical strength and coordination the problem? She did become a little bit of a weenie as the series went along, after starting out as a terrified creature and evolving into a fighter. Or was it that she became too involved in the whole Wolfram & Hart experience, and needed to be undone, or something along those lines? Also, while I mentioned previously that Illyria is far stronger than Fred physically, she is also far more masculine in character, which raises still more questions: why is the one remaining strong female character not particularly feminine? Is that good, or is it bad? The character herself is a great character, I think, and I also think it's fantastic that while female, she's not all girly. She's a lot tougher than Fred had become. And what does this say about Fred? Is this all just a symbolic death to become someone new, as many people go through?

Well, that's all the pondering time I have at the moment. Yesterday, I started Buffy over again at season 1. Once I get through season 3, I think I'll try alternating episodes of Buffy and Angel, as they originally aired. I keep saying I'm going to do that, but I always wind up being too lazy to get up and change discs every 45 minutes. Still, it would be pretty cool to do. It might also give me some insight into these thoughts floating about up in here.

Peace out, yo.

Hm. A blog. I'm pretty sure I'm not interesting enough for a blog, but okay. Why not? I'm sure there are people far less compelling than I that have one.

I guess I'll try my hand at some writing, probably mostly about film. But I'm sure there'll be other stuff too. I'll be starting school again in a few weeks after a short break; perhaps if I start writing now, I'll already have some material I can use for papers... And, perhaps I can start work on some writing about Buffy and Buffy..., which I have been itching to do.

And as soon as I have something to say, I 'll be back.